Not without telling her
by Jossasund
Summary: Emma is bleeding out, but refuses to leave this world without telling Regina she loves her.


**This is a sad sad one shot so be prepared to cry, maybe?**

Emma felt her vision slowly becoming blurry and the wound she'd gotten from the gunshot in her stomach was hurting like hell. She also knew it wasn't a option to call for help since she was out in the middle of nowhere, and she would likely be dead before she was found.

The blonde woman gritted her teeth, regretting she had taken this stupid call from the beginning, but then again, it was better Emma got shot than her father. He, at least, had a family, and people to live for. People that loved him and, people who would get heartbroken if he died.

Emma on the other hand, had no one. She lived for her work, and as it seemed now, she was gonna die for her work too. She didn't have someone special who was expecting her home soon, with dinner prepared.

No, the only thing that awaited her, was a shit hole of a apartment and loneliness. And the thing she would eat would be what she had in her freezer, along with a couple of beers in front of her TV. Just as every other damn day.

"God, I'm pathetic" Emma groaned as she sunk down on the ground, feeling how the blood was pouring out from her gunshot wound. She felt the tears stinging in her eyes when she realized she was gonna die like she had entered this world.

 _Alone._

But then again, Emma didn't do feelings. She didn't do people, and she especially didn't do _relationships_. She didn't want to get hurt and it had worked so far to distance people like this her whole life. That is...until Regina turned her life upside down that was.

But, she had never told Regina that she actually loved her, even if they were close friends nowadays. Emma had tried to find the courage to tell her, but had never gotten that far.

She maybe had blurted it out once or twice when she and Regina had shared a couple of drinks at Granny's, but when Regina had confronted the blonde about it the next day, Emma had always played dumb and brushed it off. She would mumble something about being so drunk, she hardly even remembered how she had gotten home the night before.

Emma knew that Regina had started to doubt her though, since it had happened more than once, but the brunette had never pushed and tried to get to the bottom with it. Mostly because Emma had left before she had gotten the chance to.

Regina had been a tricky person to get to know, to say the least and had been a real _bitch_ to Emma in the beginning. The blonde still remembered those days, when she had hated the older brunette with all of her heart.

One day though, Emma just got fed up with all their stupid arguments and when she had brought it up, and understood why they had so much differences, it had left both her and Regina speechless. Seconds later, both of them had broken down in tears at the police station. After that, well, they had slowly become friends.

It had turned out, they were more alike than Emma would have ever thought. Both of them had lived through so much heartbreak and pain, being used, stomped on and broken down by people they'd thought they could trust.

People had of course started to wonder why Regina and Emma had suddenly become friends, and how, but they didn't actually care what anybody thought.

Emma chuckled at the memory, picturing Regina standing in front of her, quirking one of her eyebrows, saying something like "Miss Swan, you're an idiot ", then smiling at her.

Their friendship had quickly become something incredibly precious to Emma, and had given her life a whole new meaning and in some way, Regina had become family to Emma, and she absolutely loved spending time in the big mansion together with Regina and Henry.

Even if Emma was Henry's biological mother, he would never become hers. Emma had given up that prestigious 'title' when she had put him up for adoption all those years ago.

Regina had fostered him, which had made him into the beautiful and gentle boy that he was today. Emma had missed out on that, but she was happy that he had gotten the life she herself had never had, and even if Emma actually had her biological parents now, it wasn't like she had expected it to be. Mostly because, well, they were around the same age as herself and felt more like her friends than her actual parents.

It was a weird and fucked up situation to say the least, but Emma didn't care. Regina was the only one she actually needed and here Emma laid, dying, in the forest, _alone_ and still hadn't told Regina what she truly felt about her.

But Emma would be damned if she would die before telling the brunette the truth, so with what little strength she had left, Emma reached down in her pocket to get her phone.

"What do you want Miss Swan? " Regina said as she picked up, and Emma could see how the brunette smirked as she said those particular words.

"Good evening to you too, Madame Mayor," Emma replied, biting her tongue hard to not hiss from the pain. She didn't want Regina to worry or to jump into her Mercedes to come and try to find her.

The roads around here were treacherous and some even right out dangerous. Besides that, it was getting dark really soon too and Emma didn't want anything to happen to Regina because of her so she decided to endure the pain as long as possible.

"So, what can I do for you, Miss Swan?" Regina asked, bringing the younger blonde back to the present.

"Well, not much. I'm just bored as hell at the station, working the late shift as I do every Friday night so I thought you would like to keep me company for a couple of minutes"

"I guess I could but don't complain about your work hours, Miss Swan. Because believe me, I can give you a far worse job than the one you have now"

The reply would sound bitchy to anyone else, but not to Emma. She heard the playfulness in Regina's voice, and she could see the enormous smile on the older woman's lips, as she batted with her long eyelashes.

"I'm not the right person to try to blackmail Gina, and besides that, I know you aren't as evil as you think" Emma said and let out a small laugh, but felt the pain only grew stronger by that. But the pain was still possible to endure. Even if she slowly felt more and more dizzy.

"Haven't I told you at least a hundred times that I hate it when you call me Gina, haven't I Miss Swan? "

"Maybe you have " Emma replied with a smirk "or maybe you just think you have. Like that time when you had sworn you had put back your car keys in your purse when you hadn't and tried to blame me for it"

"I don't know what you're talking about, miss swan" Regina said with a huff.

God how Emma loved this. This special and odd relationship they had. Fighting like a old married couple. It brought tears to her eyes and the pain shot through her whole body, and this time she wasn't prepared for it, so it made her let out a hiss.. A sound that Regina quickly snapped up, since Emma had never uttered such a sound earlier. Not once. Not even when she had fought the huge ass dragon in the dungeon beneath Storybrooke.

"Emma, are you sure you're okay? "

The blonde felt her heart skip a beat hearing Regina call her by her first name. Her voice sounded so… Emma didn't even have words for it. And it made her close her eyes, thinking about what a wonderful future they could have been able to share, if this evening had just gone differently.

"Yeah, ehm, I'm okay, I just.. I realized I'm buried in paperwork.." the blonde quickly replied, trying to sound believable, then added "You maybe have to talk to dad on Monday because I think he doesn't do the paperwork he needs to"

"Oh I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't actually, but I don't think I need to punish him. Being married to your mother is enough punishment"

A chuckle escaped the brunettes lips and suddenly Emma wished there was more time, but there wasn't. She couldn't even keep her eyes open now, and she suddenly felt more tired than she ever had done before. She knew what that had to mean, so she cleared her throat, before finally speaking her mind.

"Regina, I love you. And ehm, I really wish I would have had the guts to admit this way more earlier than this, but I'm a idiot, like you have called me a few times or so. But anyway. I love you and have done so that, longer than I can possibly image. You and Henry are the family I have never had before and I'm so happy for our time together but ehm. Fuck this hurts…"

Emma could hear Regina grab her keys and purse, and even heard her heels click against the wooden floor.

"I'm actually not at the station Gina, so it won't make any difference for you going down there. "

"What is actually going on Miss Swan? " Regina asked, her voice laced with anger but mostly sadness. People would never think Regina could sound this _human._

"I'm dying, Gina and I needed to hear your voice one last time before it's too late… " Emma managed to get out, before her voice broke and Regina gasped.

"Where… how.. God damn it Miss Swan, you are actually dying and you've been talking pointless nonsense with me for minutes instead of telling me where the hell you are?!" Regina snapped. "Do you have some kind of death wish?! "

"Not… not really and Gina, talking to you is never pointless. Besides that, now you know what I feel about you… "

"God you are truly an idiot Miss Swan!" Regina groaned. She glanced out into the kitchen where the dinner table was perfectly set, along with lit candles. Regina had planned this surprise the whole week, after finally admitting to herself what she actually felt for the blonde woman. And now she would never see her again and never get to taste those lips she had fantasized about.

"I love you Madam Mayor and thanks for everything" Emma said, before she hung up, then felt how everything slowly become even more darker than it had ever been.

For a few seconds Emma felt like she saw her life flashed by her eyes, when she finally took what would be her last breath. But even if she actually laid _alone_ there in the forest, she didn't feel alone. She felt loved...and that was the last feeling Emma had, before she draw her last breath.


End file.
